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09 May 2012 @ 05:58 pm
I just had a 2-hour counselling and boy, the amount of crying I had.

It was enlightening hearing what a neutral party had to say but the exhaust that comes with the crying, absolutely draining.

It took me a whole hour drafting this post because I kept dozing off. Haha.

24 April 2012 @ 05:24 pm
Dear Kamal

I am so sorry for failing you.

Please forgive me.

Yours sincerely
Mood: sad
13 February 2012 @ 11:08 am
"no matter how estranged the father, no matter how deep the damage, no matter how shattered the bond, there is still time, still space, still a need for even the smallest evidence of a father's love...for a child to be acknowledged by a father as 'My Boy' and 'My Girl'."

- Charles Blow
Mood: thoughtful
22 December 2011 @ 06:35 pm
unwanted: me
Mood: morose
30 November 2011 @ 07:13 pm

catch me
i tried to run
i tried to fly
my life wasn't kicking it
i had to say bye
no longer my mama's baby
soon to be my baby's mama

didn't know what to say
so i was up
not grown
but grown

no one to talk to
my mami's already stressed
my girls have their own problems,
they wouldn't understand
my man is no longer my man since he realised he had to be a man

so me and my little one, we travel
so little and so innocent, i don't want her to come into this world
with mama being a lost girl
but it's too late to show him another
i have to face the fact
i'm about to be a mother

without a man
or a plan
and damn,
nobody understands

- Martha Torres-McKay
Music: ruvin - 너의 마음속엔 강이 흐른다 (river flows in you)
15 September 2011 @ 02:42 pm

Title: Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham (Sometimes Happiness, Sometimes Sadness...; Hindi: कभी ख़ुशी कभी ग़म...)

Synopsis: 'Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham' is the story of an Indian family headed by a business tycoon, Yashvardhan Raichand (Amitabh Bachchan) and his wife Nandini (Jaya Bachchan) who raised their sons Rahul (Shahrukh Khan) and Rohan (Hrithik Roshan), showering them with love and affection.

When Rahul finds out that he is adopted at the tender age of 8 years old, it becomes the reason for his unending gratitude for his parents - more so his father. His father's every wish becomes a command for Rahul. A command he never breaks - till the day he falls in love with Anjali (Kajol), a young boisterous girl who is a complete misfit in the High Society World of the Raichands.

When his father disowns Rahul, he takes Anjali and her little sister Pooja (Kareena Kapoor) and leaves for London. Nandini spends every waking moment eagerly (awaiting) for her son to return home. Seeing the pain of his mother, Rohan makes a promise to reunite the family, who seeks out his brother and tries to remind him that...

"It's all about loving your parents."

Language(s): Hindi (subbed \o/), English

Running Time: 211 minutes


Please note that there are 16 parts to the entire DVD (about 7.42GB). You guys know the drill~

Videos are in .vob and are viewable via VLC Media Player.

Here you go...

Amitabh Bachchan as Yashvardhan "Yash" Raichand

Jaya Bachchan as Nandini Raichand

Shahrukh Khan as Rahul Raichand

Kajol as Anjali Sharma Raichand

Hrithik Roshan as Rohan Raichand

Kareena Kapoor as Pooja Sharma / Poo

Farida Jalal as Sayeeda / Daijan / DJ

Rani Mukerji as Naina Kapoor (Cameo)

Achala Sachdev as Rohan's paternal grandmother

Sushma Seth as Rohan's maternal grandmother

Johnny Lever as Haldiram

Himani Shivpuri as Haldiram's wife

Simone Singh as Rukhsaar

Alok Nath as Bauji

Jibraan Khan as Krish Rahul Raichand

Amar Talwar as Mr. Kapoor (Naina's father)

Original Soundtrack Album

Join all the files with HJSplit and then extract.

18 June 2011 @ 07:46 pm

Title: 3 Idiots

Genre: Comedy

Synopsis: Two friends [R Madhavan and Sharman Joshi] embark on a quest for a lost buddy. On this journey, they encounter a long forgotten bet, a wedding they must crash and a funeral that goes impossibly out of control. As they make their way through the perilous landscape, another journey begins: their inner journey through memory lane and the story of their friend - the irrepressible free-thinker Rancho [Aamir Khan] who in his unique way, touched and changed their lives. It's a story of their hostel days that swings between Rancho's romance with the spirited Pia [Kareena Kapoor], and his clash with an oppressive mentor, Viru Sahastrabuddhe [Boman Irani]. And then one day, suddenly, Rancho vanishes... Who was he? Where did he come from? Why did he leave?

The friend who influenced and inspired them to think creatively and independently, even as the conformist world called them three idiots. Where is the original idiot now? Finally, in misty mountains of unparalled beauty, the friends find the key to the secret.

Three Idiots is a comedy of ideas that is as provocative as it is funny, as wildly entertaining as it is insightful. A laugh-riot that talks about the most important of human pursuits: self-actualisation.

Language(s): Hindi (subbed \o/), English

Running Time: 164 minutes


Please note that there are 16 parts to the entire DVD (about 7.7GB). You guys know the drill~

Videos are in .vob and are viewable via VLC Media Player.

Here you go...

Aamir Khan as Ranchoddas "Rancho" Shamaldas Chanchad / Phunsukh Wangdu

Kareena Kapoor as Pia Sahastrabuddhe

R. Madhavan as Farhan Qureshi

Sharman Joshi as Raju Rastogi

Boman Irani as Viru Sahastrabuddhe (Virus)

Omi Vaidya as Chatur Ramalingam (Silencer)

Parikshit Sahni as Mr. Qureshi

Javed Jaffrey as Ranchoddas Shamaldas Chanchad

Mona Singh as Mona Sahastrabuddhe (Pia's sister)

Sanjay Lafont as Suhas

Rahul Kumar as Millimeter

Amardeep Jha as Mrs. Rastogi

Farida Dadi as Mrs. Qureshi

Jayant Kripalani as Interviewer

Arun Bali as Shamaldas Chanchad

Ali Fazal as Joy Lobo

Join all the files with HJSplit and then extract

18 June 2011 @ 07:35 pm

Title: GOLMAAL 3

Genre: Comedy

Synopsis: India's first trilogy GOLMAAL 3 highlights the story of hatred between two bunch of siblings within a family. One of nature's masterpieces, this is a family that eats together, prays together, lives together and a family that can't stand each other.

This quirky [and] unique family will certainly deliver you with some rib-tickling moments, ageless romance and some heart-warming scenes. A beautiful journey full of madness, love and excitement.

A film with the perfect blend of just every emotion that will set in your heart with thrice the fun, thrice the magic and thrice the laughter. GOLMAAL 3 it is!

Language(s): Hindi (subbed \o/), English


Files are in .DAT (Video CD Movie) and should be viewable in Windows Media Player, if not, VLC Media Player.

Disc 1 on MegaUpload

Disc 2 on MegaUpload

Title: Taare Zameen Par (Like Stars on Earth)

Tagline: Every Child is Special

Storyline: Ishaan Awasthi is an eight-year-old whose world is filled with wonders that no one else seems to appreciate; colours, fish, dogs and kites are just not important in the world of adults, who are much more interested in things like homework, marks and neatness. And Ishaan just cannot seem to get anything right in class. When he gets into far more trouble than his parents can handle, he is packed off to a boarding school to 'be disciplined'. Things are no different at his new school, and Ishaan has to contend with the added trauma of separation from his family.

One day a new art teacher bursts onto the scene, Ram Shankar Nikumbh, who infects the students with joy and optimism. He breaks all the rules of 'how things are done' by asking them to think, dream and imagine, and all the children respond with enthusiasm, all except Ishaan. Nikumbh soon realizes that Ishaan is very unhappy, and he sets out to discover why. With time, patience and care, he ultimately helps Ishaan find himself.

Running Time: 165 minutes

Language(s): Hindi (subbed \o/), English


Files are in .DAT (Video CD Movie) and should be viewable in Windows Media Player, if not, VLC Media Player.

Disc 1.zip (on MegaUpload)

Disc 2.zip (on MegaUpload)

Disc 3.zip (on MegaUpload)
13 June 2011 @ 04:26 pm
one can love oneself very much but there has to be a limit when one starts questioning, "am I worth it?", "am I being delusional, thinking I'm not alone in being different?", "is it so wrong to be me?"

p!nk may not necessarily have the best vocals, but that doesn't mean she's not a diva because she is, in her own rights. the difference between the stereotyped diva and her would be that she stands firm in her beliefs and isn't afraid of being different and standing proud.

those who do not conform to society are often bullied, ridiculed and ostracised. I know this because while I may not be an outright non-conformist, I do not quite fit society's mould of the ideal member. it's just that I've learned to withdraw or keep mum for sanity and heartache's sake.

so I salute p!nk for being a role model, a pillar of strength and an exemplary model of success to all.

fuckin' perfect
by p!nk

Made a wrong turn, once or twice.
Dug my way out, blood and fire.
Bad decisions, that's alright.
Welcome to my silly life.

Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood.
Miss 'No way, it's all good', it didn't slow me down.
Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated.
Look, I'm still around.

Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than fuckin' perfect.
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel like you're nothing,
You're fuckin' perfect to me

You're so mean when you talk about yourself; you were wrong.
Change the voices in your head; make them like you instead.
So complicated, look happy, you'll make it
Filled with so much hatred, such a tired game.
It's enough; I've done all I can think of.
Chased down all my demons, I've seen you do the same.

Woah ohh, pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than fuckin' perfect.
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel like you're nothing,
You're fuckin' perfect to me.

The whole world's scared so I swallow the fear.
The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer.
So cool in line, and we try try try, but we try too hard and it's a waste of my time.
Done looking for the critics, cause they're everywhere.
They dont like my jeans; they don't get my hair.
Exchange ourselves, and we do it all the time.
Why do we do that? Why do I do that?

Why do I do that?

Yeah, oh, oh baby, pretty baby
Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than fuckin' perfect.
Pretty,pretty please, if you ever, ever feel
Like you're nothing, you're fuckin' perfect to me, yeahhh.
You're perfect, you're perfect

Ohh pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel
Like you're less than fuckin' perfect.
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel, like you're nothing
You're fuckin' perfect to me
07 June 2011 @ 12:59 am
here's the entirety of awake tour 2005 in .vob~

please join the 15 files before extracting (500mb each, total zip size: 7.03g)

all files are on megaupload.

presenting to you...
l'arc~en~ciel's awake tour 2005

tracklist not in order

killing me as one


jyojoushi <-- file has been re-uploaded


forbidden lover

trust stay away formation a

my dear lost heaven



ready steady go

twinkle twinkle

link jiyuu e no shoutai


driver's high

new world: neo universe

have fun you guys!
Location: yeah..
Mood: *sleeeeeeepy*
Music: Gacchan laughing..
13 April 2011 @ 10:49 am
You're on a crashing plane and your partner is fast asleep. Would you wake her/him up to say 'I love you' one last time or let her/him die in her/his sleep?

I don't know about those but I'll definitely hug him tight and whisper my last love declarations, and at the same time, pray that he wouldn't awake and for the ending to be quick.

/LOL-ing at songlist shuffle
Music: Journey - Open Arms
09 April 2011 @ 07:50 pm

josh groban - remember when it rained

wash away the thoughts inside
that keep my mind away from you
no more love and no more pride
and thoughts are all I have to do

remember when it rained
i felt the ground and looked up high
and called your name
remember when it rained
in the darkness I remain

tears of hope run down my skin
tears for you that will not dry
they magnify the one within
and let the outside slowly die

remember when it rained
i felt the ground and looked up high
and called your name
remember when it rained
in the water I remain

running down x7


running down~


do you hear what I hear?
Mood: reflective
07 February 2011 @ 08:04 pm
new layout~

tags are, eh..still tags

just wanna say that =D

life is okay. plan as much and work as hard to make the plans be but life has a way with curve balls. I no longer take much heart with that. after all, I'm not the only one being handed disappointments.

something I learnt in Organisational Behaviour (OB) class: we are still developing in mind and heart, and the completion is only when we've reached the 30s. I think the foundation is more or less there but everything stabilises much later. it makes me wonder if that is why there's the saying that life begins after 40.

the stuff I learn in OB, it's interesting how I've always been aware of my traits and the lessons sort of confirm or what's-the-opposite? them. the lessons have also piqued me to be more observant of others. people-watching has never been more insightful.

with the advancement of technology, mankind is beginning to take itself for granted. I'm not saying that technology is bad but it will be if we do not start to self-care. everything has a pro and con, and I believe that no matter how bad the day progresses, there is always at least one thing that we are grateful for. I know I do.

3 things I am grateful for today:

1. twitter-chat with Samantha, my bff
2. being engaged in OB class
3. my ever-supportive bff

what are you grateful for today?
Mood: calm
Music: Taeyang - Wedding Dress
16 December 2010 @ 10:04 pm
NOTE: if anything looks different or new, explanation is in bold.


there is so much to say, so many thoughts running in my head but speech kinda fail me at the moment. so here's a shot. apologies if the following is nothing but incoherency.

since the creation of this journal, so many things have happened, and while I was never involved in anything major online, I have learned much just as well. I've met beautiful people in the different fandoms, I've fangirl-ed and fawned over artistes with fellow fans, I've beta-ed, I've supported a few friends by buying their arts, I try to help out however I can.

in some sense, I've grown emotionally and I'd like to think that I am more at peace with both life and the world now. I do get upset, I do get angry at the unfairness of life but they no longer consume me the way they used to. while it still doesn't take a lot to rile me up, I've taken to taking a step back and detaching myself from whatever it might escalate to be. it's odd but it works for me.

spiritually, there hasn't been much change, if any at all. it's probably all my fault. I didn't go out to seek answers nor did I do any research. I don't think I even did soul-searching. regardless, at this point in time, I'm quite contented.

my sister asked me this question a few days back. "what is the greatest liberation that mankind could ever have? I think it's being a forgiving person."

I chose acceptance. if you cannot come to terms with it yourself, how are you supposed to do anything? how do you forgive if you cannot accept the apology for which you were wronged?

if anyone had asked me that question 3, 4 years back, I would have... okay, I have no idea what I would've answered but I don't think it would be anything close to acceptance; and I think it's high time that the novella end. I'm not gonna move elsewhere. I'm just gonna clean the slate and start anew: maybe a new layout, tags, stuff.

I'll be pursuing a Bachelor of Business (Management) under RMIT and for once, I know I've made a perfect decision; and this time, no more fooling around. I'm gonna sit down and work my guts off. I owe myself this much.
Mood: calm
Music: 박효신 - 해줄 수 없는 일
27 February 2008 @ 07:16 pm

Following are the front and back covers respectively.

Excerpts of scans are thumbnail'd and behind the cut.

Just 3 things before we proceed further:

1) No hotlinking.
2) Credits are not necessary although much appreciated.
3) I accept requests of re-scans for a reasonable number of pages. Please provide the Image No(s).

Location: at work
Mood: *accomplished~!*
Music: fax machine whirring
09 December 2007 @ 08:27 pm
Title: Betrayal
Rating: PG13?
Genre: Angst, Drama
Pairing: Gackt/Hyde, Hyde/Megumi (very little)
Warnings: -
Summary: Hyde betrayed Gackt in an unbelievable way
Notes: Text in these font settings are FLASHBACK, Text in this font setting are memories
Word Count: Too lazy to count X3

BetrayalCollapse )

Mood: happy!
Music: X Japan - I.V.
16 November 2007 @ 11:14 am
Credits go to saikira on JRockUploads.

Following are MediaFire links to P'Unk~en~Ciel's very first PV I Wish 2007.

Files to be joined by HJSplit.

Part 1 || Part 2

Mood: beeeezeeee
Music: The Moffatts - [Hidden Track]
12 November 2007 @ 04:41 pm
With permission from ghanima_realm from death_note, below are MEDIAFIRE links to the film. Following are the details of the film.

Film: Death Note - Director's Cut

Genre: Anime

File format: MKV (playable on VLC Media Player)

Size: 752.34MB

Duration: 2 hours 10 mins

Audio: Japanese

Subtitles: English (credits are Vinnie's - vinnie_anime@live.nl)

Music: babies screaming 0(>_<)0
30 September 2007 @ 12:44 am

Title: ARMY DAZE (1996)

Genre: Comedy

Synopsis: A group of enlistees undergoing Basic Military Training (BMT) in the Singapore Armed Forces (SAF) during National Service (NS).

Tagline: From Real Blur (Singlish reference to a mental state of confusion) to Real Men

Languages: Singlish, Standard English, Malay, Hokkien (a dialect) and Mandarin

download links and more behind the cutCollapse )

Feel free to ask any questions you might have!
Mood: *sleepy*
Music: Nickelback - Savin' Me